A small plastic box that either runs for five years or dies in three weeks. We counted every one-star review to work out which of those you are likely to get, and what to check before your return window shuts.

British grass looks dry right up until you stand up with a wet patch on your jeans. This foil-backed blanket exists to stop that, and the 100 most recent UK reviews largely agree it does. The re-fold and one washing machine horror story are the catches.

Grey squirrels are beaten here, and the reviews are emphatic about it. Starlings are not, and all four reviewers who turned the adjustable spring down to its lightest setting were still overrun by the birds they wanted shut out. Which pest you have decides whether this is the right buy.

The bargain-bin connector looks identical to the Hozelock one, right up until a pressure surge sends it skidding across the patio. We read 100 recent UK reviews to find out what the branded click buys you.

It runs on a cylinder of wax, needs no wiring, and clamps onto most greenhouse frames without a single drilled hole. It can also dump its oil over your tomatoes. Both of those things are true of the Bayliss XL, and which one you get is mostly decided in the first fortnight.

One buyer keeps theirs shut with an elastic band. Another calls the catch better behaved than any pair they've owned. Kynup's SK-5 secateurs cut brilliantly - the row in the reviews is about everything wrapped around the blade.

One gardener sprayed dandelions liberally and watched them flower anyway. Another sprayed a patio and had bare slabs in three days. Same bottle, same summer. We went looking for what actually decides which camp you land in.

Your loppers give up long before the branch does. A petrol chainsaw is overkill, and for a lot of people it is plain frightening. Seesii's 1.4kg mini saw sits in that gap, and its buyers are very clear about both what it flattens and the one part you will be re-tensioning every few cuts.

Two neighbours can buy the same sprinkler and come away with completely different verdicts. The reason is sitting at your outside tap.

That overgrown laurel that shrugs off your secateurs is exactly the job a ratchet anvil lopper is built for. The Spear & Jackson 8100RS promises 42mm cuts with far less force, and most of its 6,501 buyers back that up. A handful of snapped-blade and bent-arm reports, though, mean there are limits to respect before you start hacking away.

Two gardeners order the identical Hardys 60L compost. One gets a fine, seed-perfect bag and immediately orders another. The other tips out something closer to bark. Which bag will you get?

Peckish's fat balls carry a 4.2-star reputation built over nearly 4,900 ratings. The latest boxes are landing closer to 3.29. The recipe hasn't changed, but the number of balls that survive the journey has, and that gap is worth understanding before you order in bulk.